Please enjoy this shark choir.
I Knew Lily Cole Reminded Me Of Someone
The 10 People You’ll Meet At The Gym
The Showoff. This is usually the girl or guy doing crazy yoga positions, but in the most awkward places within the gym where everyone can see them and looking around noticing who’s noticing them. If there is a mirror present, then they’re usually in front of it showing off to even themselves. We get it. You workout, have a great body, and can put your leg behind your head, but please get out of my way and use your talents in the bedroom if you want someone to actually be impressed.
The Resident. This guy lives at the gym. He knows everyone there and spends his free time in between socializing to workout. He’ll do a few reps here and there, but he’s mostly high fiving his pals, chatting up the staff, and introducing himself to any new faces he sees. I sometimes want to laugh at these people, but then realize this is probably all they have in life.
The Cake Face. This is the girl in a full face of makeup and usually perfect hair. Not to say none of these girls workout while there, some of them actually do, however they seem to have a very high tolerance for sweat and capable of wearing more makeup than the cast of Jersey Shore combined. Bronzer, fake lashes, lipliner, lipstick, eyeliner, the works. Time and place ladies. This is neither.
The Sweaty Guy. So everyone sweats at the gym (minus the makeup girls!) but there’s always that one guy that seems to produce tsunamis with his pores. He leaves his nasty back sweat all over the machines, and drops of sweat all over the stretching mats. Usually the sweaty guy is also a non-wiper-downer of machines. Thanks for spreading the love, sweaty guy!
The Casanova. This is the guy in the really tight top exposing every gross vein in his upper body to aaaaall the sexy ladieeees in the gym. He follows them around and find the machines right next to them to show off how strong he is and waits to catch their eye. Once he does, he moves in for the kill. He then chats up the girls for a lengthy period of time, or until he can flex no longer because his biceps are about to explode. Once the girl is out of sight he can relax.
The Personal Trainer. Only, he’s not a personal trainer. This is the guy going around and correcting the way people are using machines. Even though you’ve followed the instructions on the machine, and have witnessed others using the machine in the same way, you nod your head in agreement and proceed using it the way he showed you to. As soon as they aren’t looking you roll your eyes and go back to the way you were originally using it. Yeah the guy may have been right, but who the fuck is he?!
The Phone Talker. Again, time and place situation. What I want to know is who wants to talk to you while you’re half speaking, half panting all through a phone? I can barely breathe while I’m running on the treadmill, how are you having a full conversation about how drunk you got the night before and how you blacked out and woke with the office intern in your bed. How are you working out if you blacked out the night before? Anyways…I’m always impressed by these people’s abilities to multitask but to be frank, you’re annoying me, and you’re going to ruin your brand new iPhone because it’s about to be drenched in sweat.
The Grunter/Moaner/Yelper/Any Other Weird Noise-er. These guys make the weirdest noises. Yes, I understand what you’re lifting is quite heavy, but surely there have been other instances in life where you’ve had to carry a heavy object and not made ridiculous warthog sounding noises? Then there’s the continuous moaning noise, and even yelping like a small dog. You can’t help but start picturing them in between the sheets with a woman and making these noises.
The Lazy Susan. These girls don’t really do anything. They jump from machine to machine with the lightest weight possible, do about three reps and then take a sip of water. No one really knows why they’re there as they don’t fall into the cake face category, or the casanovas. They seem to legitimately think that their two bicep curls are going to give them a body like Jessica Ennis. Do us all a favour and get out of the way. Otherwise make yourself useful and start following around Sweaty Guy with a spray bottle and towel.
The Ridiculously Fit Person. Simply put, you are jealous of their banging body. You hope that one day you too can get up every morning for a pre-work workout, eat nothing but spinach, and never drink alcohol again. Who are you kidding? No pain, no gain people!
Small Space Design. Make Your Tiny Ass Space Truly Liveable.
I love small space design. You would be surprised how little of space you really need to make an apartment fully functional and liveable. All you need is the right furniture, and some creativity and you’re set. I’ve put together a list here of some great ideas and furniture to pick up should you be living in a tiny ass space. Using shelves to separate your space. The Expedit shelving unit from Ikea is perfect for this. It’s about the same length as a double bed, and can double as a wall. You can put your bed on one side, then prop your couch up on the other side to create an entirely new room. It’s also amazing for storage which is important to remember when living in a tiny ass space. 
When your’e living in a tiny ass space, it’s important to have pieces of furniture that have multiple use. For example, your coffee table should also be able to store things. Old steamer trunks are great for this. They’re sturdy enough to be used as a table, but can also open up and hold a lot of stuff, like towels or linen. I bought the one directly below from ebay and love it. 
Don’t fill up your apartment with bulky pieces of furniture. One great idea is instead of buying a huge wardrobe with closed doors, try using a clothes rack to hang up your clothes. Sure your clothes might be on display, but it gives your place a much more open feel. You can also get creative with these racks by hanging them from the ceiling to create more space in your tiny ass space. 
Have furniture you can easily move around in your tiny ass space. Anything on wheels is really efficient when you need to make some space quick. This trolley from Ikea is great for that, and also has ample storage for magazines and books, or kitchen stuff. Look for beds on wheels, as well as coffee tables. 
Mirrors always make a small room look more spacious. If you can, try covering an entire wall with one big mirror, otherwise place smaller ones wherever you can in your tiny ass space. You’ll have everyone fooled that you’re flat is HUGE! 
Store upwards. Wherever you can, put up shelves and wall storage units to avoid lots of clutter on the floor. Floating shelves like the ones below always look really neat. Anything you can put up on the wall in your tiny ass space like coat hooks that also double as storage for even the smallest of things will really maximize the space you have. 
Putting up some nice flowy curtains in your tiny ass space to separate your bedroom from the rest of the flat will make it seem like you have more than one room. They’re great because they give you the choice if you feel like having a nice big open space with the curtains open, or having them closed for some privacy. Light neutral colours seem to work best. 
Have an accent wall. Instead of painting all the walls in your tiny ass space a bright, bold, red, try to keep the wall colours light and neutral, and then do one wall with whatever the hell you want. Your accent wall could also be a giant mirror as mentioned above. This will make your flat seem longer and more spacious. 
I’ve used some of these idea myself when I bought my tiny ass space in a big city and they all helped make the place feel really cozy and homely. Happy decorating!
Things That Happened On ‘Friends’ That Would Never, Ever, EVER Happen In Real Life
I’ll admit it, I’m a ‘Friends’ re-run watcher. Since the Comedy Network in the UK is actually just a ‘Friends” re-run channel, (literally all they ever play is ‘Friends’. All day, every day.) the show is on a lot, and has become our default show if nothing else is on. Often though while we’re watching episode after episode of this show, normally during the worst of our weekend hangovers, we find ourselves saying “Oh like that would EVER happen in real life!”. I know it’s a fictional television program, but I decided anyways to make a list of some of the most ridiculous happenings on this show that would never, EVER happen in real life.
1) Being able to always leave the office to go home for lunch, for a coffee at your regular hangout with your pals, or to speak to your wife about moving to Tulsa. I’m referring specifically to episode 2 season 9. Chandler falls asleep in a meeting and agrees to relocate to Tulsa by accident. Instead of calling his wife on the phone like any normal human being, he somehow has time to leave the office, speak to her for five minutes, and then go back to work, to which he then again leaves to speak to Monica again. Sure he may have been on his lunch break, but no one would EVER do this. Surely he can wait until he’s finished work if it needed to be done in person. This would never happen.
Have You Heard Of Jan Terri?
If not, then you need to get to know her. Jan Terri is a singer-songwriter from Chicago, Illinois that writes and performs some truly wonderful music. She gained notoriety a few years back when her video “Losing You” went viral on the interwebs. Since then, no one has really heard much from her, but rest assure she is still making music. I’ve included some of her best work below, including a brand new track that was released in May titled “Skyrockets” that really shows off her edgier side.
‘Losing You’
‘Baby Blues’
‘Get Down Goblin’
‘Little Brother’
‘Journey To Mars’
‘Excuse My Christmas’
And her newest single…
‘Skyrockets’
Keep up the beats, JT. Continue reading
Pugs Committing The 7 Deadly Sins
Lust
Gluttony
Greed
Sloth
Wrath
Envy
Pride
Jesse Pinkman’s Best Bitches.
Aaron Paul recently appeared on Conan to promote the new season of Breaking Bad premiering next month on AMC. In their discussion, they touched on Jesse Pinkman’s love of the word “Bitch”. Here’s the clip;
What Song Is That?!
Ever watching TV, an ad comes on and you’re too slow to pick up your Shazam? Or even if you are jack-be-nimble and are quick enough to Shazam it, the asshole announcer talks over the song so it doesn’t pick it up? Well fear not! I’ve compiled a list of the best songs currently being used in TV ads that I just so happen to know the song and artist.
“Top 100 Indie Tracks On Spotify” Playlist, Which artists are actually independent and which aren’t?
Definition of indie music in its literal form: “Music produced independently from major commercial record labels or their subsidiaries, a process that may include an autonomous, DIY, to recording and publishing.”
Please make a note that the above does NOT include distribution. It’s not overly hard to get a distribution deal from a major record label if you are an indie label, and many of them have distro deals in place with the four major players or their subsidiaries.
The four major record labels who run the show: Universal Music Group, Song BMG, EMI Group, and Warner Music Group.
Here is Spotify’s playlist:
And here’s a list of the artists and their label status:
Passion Pit: NOT INDIE. Signed to Columbia Records, a label owned by Sony BMG.
Alt-J: INDIE! Signed to Infectious Records, an indie label based in London.
The xx: INDIE! Signed to Young Turks and XL Recordings, both independent labels.
Cold War Kids: INDIE! Signed to Downtown Records, Co-Op, and V2 Music. Co-Op and V2 used to be owned by Universal, but were bought by PIAS Entertainment group based in Belgium.
M83: NOT INDIE. Signed by Virgin Records who are owned by Universal Music.
The Neighbourhood: NOT INDIE. Signed to Columbia Records, who are owned by Sony BMG.
Matt & Kim: INDIE! Signed to Fader Label, an indie label based in NYC.
Tame Impala: NOT INDIE. Signed by Modular Recordings who are (half) owned by Universal Music.
Robert DeLong: INDIE! Signed to Glassnote Records, an indie label based in America.
The Shins: NOT INDIE. Signed to Interscope who are owned by Universal, and Warner Bros. Music owned by Warner Music Group.
Arctic Monkeys: INDIE! Signed to Domino Recording Company, an indie label based in London.
Haim: NOT INDIE. Signed by Polydor records who are owned by Universal Music.
Metronomy: INDIE! Signed by Because Music, an indie label based in Paris.
Lord Huron: INDIE! Signed to indie label IAMSOUND Records in America, and PIAS in the UK and Ireland.
The Temper Trap: INDIE! Signed by Liberation, Infectious, and Glassnote, all indie labels.
The 1975: INDIE! Signed by Dirty Hit in the UK an Ireland, and Vagrant in the US, both indie labels.
Sleigh Bells: NOT INDIE. Signed by Mom+Pop Music in the US who are an indie label, but also signed to N.E.E.T. Recordings, a label founded by M.I.A. and Interscope Records, who are owned by Universal Music.
Arcade Fire: NOT INDIE. Signed by Mercury Records, owned by Universal Music.
Ra Ra Riot: INDIE! Signed by Arts & Crafts Mexico, a branch of the Toronto indie label, Arts & Crafts, V2 Records, and Barsuk Records based in Seattle.
Best Coast: INDIE! Signed by Wichita Recordings based in London, and Mexican Summer based in New York.
Django Django: INDIE! Signed to Because Records.
Japandroids: INDIE! Signed to Polyvinyl Record Co. an indie label based in Illinois.
Everything Everything: NOT INDIE. Signed to Geffen Records who are owned by Universal Music and RCA Records who are owned by Sony BMG.
Local Natives: INDIE! Signed to FrenchKiss Records, an indie label based in New York, and Infectious.
Hot Chip: NOT INDIE. Signed to DFA Records, Domino Recording Company, and Moshi Moshi Records, all of which are independent labels, however they are also signed to Parlophone who is owned by Warner Music Group, and Astralwerks who are owned by Universal Music.
Yeasayer: INDIE! (Well, kind of) Signed to Secretly Canadian, an indie label based in Indiana, and Mute Records. This is a weird one. Mute Records is an indie label, however they were owned by EMI for ten years, Universal music for less than a year, and are now a child company to BMG who own the catalogue to Mute Records, and BMG are owned by Bertelsmann who are a mass media corporation in Germany, This one is too confusing for my brain to comprehend, so I think this band leans far over onto the INDIE side of things.
Balthazar: INDIE! Signed to Munich Records.
Frank Turner: NOT INDIE. Signed to Xtra MIle Records in the UK who are in fact an indie label, but signed to Interscope Records in the US who are owned by Universal Music.
FIDLAR: INDIE! Signed to Mom+Pop Music and Wichita Recordings.
Beach House: NOT INDIE. Signed to Carpark Records, Bella Union,Arts & Crafts Mexico all of which are independent labels, but they are also owned by Sub Pop records, who are owned by Warner Music.
Deerhoof: INDIE! Signed to Kill Rockstars, ATP Recordings, and Polyvinyl Record Co, all which are independent labels.
Foals: NOT INDIE. Signed to Transgressive Records in London which is an indie label, however they are also signed to Sub Pop Records who are owned by Warner Music.
Frightened Rabbit: NOT INDIE. Signed to Fat Cat Records who are an indie label based in Brighton, however they are also signed by Atlantic Records who are owned by Warner Music.
The Lonely Wild: INDIE! I’m only saying this because I can’t find any information whatsoever as to which label they are signed to, so it’s likely its definitely not a major one!
Lykke Li: NOT INDIE. Signed to both Atlantic Records, owned by Warner Music, and EMI.
Parquet Courts: INDIE! Signed to What’s Your Rupture indie label based in New York.
Peter, Bjorn & John: INDIE! Signed to Wichita, Parasol Records, and Almost Gold Recordings, all of which are indie labels.
Phoenix: INDIE! Signed to Glassnote records.
Phosphorescent: INDIE! Signed to Dead Oceans, Misra Records, and Warm Records all which are independent.
Pulp: NOT INDIE. Signed to Rough Trade Records based in London who are indie, however they are also signed to Island Records, who are owned by Universal Music.
Radiohead: NOT INDIE. Signed to Capitol Records who are owned by Universal Music.
St. Vincent: INDIE! Signed to Beggars Banquet and 4AD, an indie label owned by Beggars Group.
Stone Roses: NOT INDIE. Signed to Geffen owned by Universal Music, and Columbia owned by Sony Music.
Stornoway: INDIE! Signed to 4AD Records.
The Strokes: NOT INDIE. Signed to Rough Trade who are indie, but also by RCA who are owned by Sony Music.
Youth Lagoon: INDIE! Signed to Fat Possum Records based in Mississippi.
Not bad, Spotify.
Hall Dawdle 